She grows into a curious little thing, over here, over there. Like a normal baby, she wants to experience life at once, patience is not on her to do list. She puts anything she can in her mouth, nose and even ears. She will squeal when at the doctor's cubicle as the bead is removed from her ear. As a parent, you will feel for her, want to take her place, but you can't. You have to watch her suffer, as you blame yourself for being a 'bad parent' for not paying close attention. Sometime she will choke on a coin, or something she picked, yet you cannot remember how she got to it. You will cry as you hold her after that scary episode. You think you are wiped out.
She grows into a beautiful thing, always curious about the world. 'Mommy, why do you do this and that?' 'Daddy, where were you? Did you see this and that?' She will exhaust you with questions that at times you have no real answers to. She will make you think and think of the 'right' answer. If you lie, she will catch the truth, eventually. 'But I thought you said....' Their memories are weirdly accurate, because they believe every little thing you tell them, at least at their current age. They will not hide emotions from you, they will not pretend. Every day you see a little of you in them. Other days, you see all of yourself in them! Such a beautiful mirror.
She gets to that age where she puts on her mother's make up and play dress up with her besties, the dolls. She nurtures them exactly how she is being nurtured. She is a little lady in her little dress. She might opt to be a tom boy, playing with the neighborhood boys over girls, following her dad to his workshop and 'helping' him around. She is a girl beneath those overalls, those dungarees. She is a girl alright, despite her coming home covered in mud, happy to have 'helped' the boys repair a broken bicycle. She surprises you by asking for a bike, and she does not even need lessons on how to ride it. Thomas, your neighbor's son already taught her. She rides it to school, with the boys.
She is suddenly shy, suddenly as in you think it happened overnight. But you missed the first episode of her shyness. You cannot remember how it begun, how it happened. You are loosing the little angel. She is gaining the worldly wisdom, and she is no longer naive. You do not want to let go, you cannot let go. You have not had enough time with her! Only yesterday she ran to you with all the details of her life. Now you have to really pray she tells you a quarter of her life stories. You try to create an environment of trust,not that it was broken, but it is not you. She needs to figure herself out, she needs to get through by herself. You have to let go, keep your 'distance'. She will come around.
She will push your 'over-protectiveness' button to a new height. The boys know she is a gem, and boys are just boys. As a father, you remember when you were her age, when you went after girls for fun or 'love'. You get that chill down your spine, that is your own flesh and blood. Woe unto the boy who touches or hurts her. As a mother, you remember your teen life, how you got your heart severely wounded, how boys feigned love, how your mother warned you about this or that boy. Your heart aches at the thought of your little girl getting wounded, you are a bear. No one touches their cub, unless they got a death wish. She is still your little girl, no matter how old she gets.
She will get hurt, she will get bruised, she will make poor judgement calls, she will deviate from the good teachings and she might break your heart. But you will still love, protect and comfort her. You will always be her shoulder to cry on, despite the urge to utter 'I told you so'. You will threaten to beat up the boy who broke her heart, you will will stop her from seeing an unsuitable boy. She might hate you, oh she will definitely hate you. But you are her parents. She will keep learning, everyday, about life. She will only get to understand you as a parent when she gets her own family.
She is walking down the aisle, dressed in white like a princess. It is her wedding day,she is now a big girl, she has grown so fast. She hold your hands tight as though afraid to let go. She is finally leaving the nest, she will no longer have her parents everyday to herself. She has to let go, you have taught her well, she is ready. She is crying, as parents you smile reassuringly. As you hand her over to your son in law, you warn him not to hurt her or else....then you smile and in a friendly tone say 'Take care of our precious jewel'. He understands you completely. She finally lets go, hugs you and turns her back on you. She is gone, your beautiful pearl is gone.
Thank you Ann!
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